I don’t think I’m necessarily going to give any insight to body image that you haven’t already heard but I’m going to use this post as a way to document a whole new challenge and perspective that I hope might bring some positivity.
Body image is something that not only do I struggle with by I think everybody does. We’re essentially screwed with social media always showing us images of these beautiful bodies and telling us how we too can get one by “eating clean” or “getting fit.” #fitfam
I personally don’t think I’m one to even really comment on my own body very often. I can recognize when I put on a few pounds or when I lose so much weight in a short period of time that my pants fall down, but I don’t generally like to talk about it. I’m not one to walk around in a bikini but I’m also not one to comment on how fat I look today. I think there are some definite areas for improvement but I also don’t like to pout when I’m not happy with how I look. I’ve always had a very simple mentality: If I’m a healthy weight with a healthy BMI, then I don’t have anything to complain about. If I don’t like the way I look then either change my diet or exercise OR just dress differently. Anyone can look good if they dress the part and air confidence. If I need to buy a bigger size, then I do. It’s that simple.
The whole concept of losing weight and getting fit (#cleaneats) is also quite simple. Eat healthy, whole foods in smaller portions, and exercise daily….Putting in to practice is the hard part. It’s especially hard with a chronic illness when you just want to eat comfort food and lie in bed. When you’re anemic the oxygen doesn’t flow as readily through your body, so jumping on a treadmill is the last thing I want to do. I also developed a horrible mentality that I could eat a Big Mac all I want because an hour later I’m going to diarrhea it out anyways.
BUT that gravy train is over (literally….I shouldn’t eat so much gravy). So as I begin the process of developing a completely new healthy lifestyle (healthy bowel, healthy hair, skin, nails, diet, exercise, and MIND) I’m going to actually embrace my body more than ever. I’m totally going to dive into the #getyourbellyout campaign and show off every scar, every curve and every bit of my bag (okay not the insides).
I’ll admit that when I Google-imaged the word ileostomy or stoma I was so frightened I just shut it down. And then I watched a YouTube video of a girl changing her bag and that horrified me even more. So I can understand that if people see my pictures they think it’s gross or disturbing. But this surgery and this bag essentially saved my life. I was on a path down a very unhealthy road, waiting from complications that would be life threatening. It also saved my life in the sense that I wasn’t really living.
So now I’m going to show it off with pride. I’m proud of my little clown nose stoma and proud to rock my bag. This isn’t a body bag.