#BellLetsTalk Day is such an important cause and last year I decided to share how my IBD journey very quickly turned into a new monster called anxiety. This year, I think it’s important to share the story of a dear friend of mine. She offers a far more insightful and inspiring story as she struggles with Bipolar Disorder. I see Brittany daily and I will openly admit that I am ignorant when it comes to her mental health. On days where I find it difficult to comprehend her perspective, I have slowly begun to recognize my frustration is not with her, but with myself. I’ve said this directly to her, but there are days where I just don’t understand. And she’s reassured me that it’s okay. It’s okay because as I challenge myself to empathize with her, she challenges herself to open up.
As part of my healing process I have learned to be reflective and evaluate all aspects of my recent circumstances. I’ve learned that in order to fully reconcile and begin to rebuild I need to accept. I think I’ve always been pretty good at forgiving other people. I don’t like holding grudges and I find it far more exhausting to hold onto anger than it is to just let it go. But through the past two years I have held on to a lot of anger and a lot of sadness. It’s consumed my thoughts, my conversations and my behaviour. And now at the cusp of my fresh start, it’s time to let go, and forgive: forgive my life for the destruction and chaos that it has become. And here’s how I’ve broken it down.
Canadian Thanksgiving just passed and I didn’t post anything on any of my social media platforms, (which seems to be the norm for expressing your thanks.) The truth is after arriving home Friday night, I was in a really low spot. I should have been thrilled to be let out just in time for the holiday. But in reality I was feeling overwhelmed and defeated after what felt like an eternity spent at Mount Sinai. I spent the weekend relaxing with family and (thankfully) eating small portions of turkey and potatoes. But I wasn’t in a good spot. Thanksgiving normally is my all time favourite holiday. Better than Christmas. But this year I was so consumed by emotions that I didn’t even know where to begin expressing what I was thankful for.
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