I’m going to tell you a story. And I pondered even writing about this for the past week out of respect for this other patient, but I think there’s still an importance to the story itself so I’m going to try to tell it in a way that’s as delicate and respectful as possible.
We had a goodbye party for my ostomy and it was amazing! With my final surgery approaching on February 17th, and my ostomy being closed, I decided to celebrate the past year and a half by having a farewell party. And with the help of my friends, we bid adieu to my little life-saving intestinal button. We have just over a week left before I go into full on potty-training mode and we had to do justice to the fact that I have been flare-up, ulcerative colitis free for almost the past 2 years and plan on continuing that trend, all thanks to my little stoma. Continue reading “11 Girls Wearing Ostomy Bags: And 11 New Learning Curves”
#BellLetsTalk Day is such an important cause and last year I decided to share how my IBD journey very quickly turned into a new monster called anxiety. This year, I think it’s important to share the story of a dear friend of mine. She offers a far more insightful and inspiring story as she struggles with Bipolar Disorder. I see Brittany daily and I will openly admit that I am ignorant when it comes to her mental health. On days where I find it difficult to comprehend her perspective, I have slowly begun to recognize my frustration is not with her, but with myself. I’ve said this directly to her, but there are days where I just don’t understand. And she’s reassured me that it’s okay. It’s okay because as I challenge myself to empathize with her, she challenges herself to open up.
As part of my healing process I have learned to be reflective and evaluate all aspects of my recent circumstances. I’ve learned that in order to fully reconcile and begin to rebuild I need to accept. I think I’ve always been pretty good at forgiving other people. I don’t like holding grudges and I find it far more exhausting to hold onto anger than it is to just let it go. But through the past two years I have held on to a lot of anger and a lot of sadness. It’s consumed my thoughts, my conversations and my behaviour. And now at the cusp of my fresh start, it’s time to let go, and forgive: forgive my life for the destruction and chaos that it has become. And here’s how I’ve broken it down.
It’s my osto-versary!
365 days ago I had my first surgery. My colon was removed and my life changed as I began to cope with an ileostomy. And what a 365 days it has been.
I wish I could say that this was without a doubt the best summer ever. I’m feeling better, no longer ridden with having to know where every washroom is, normal face, energetic.
Yet this summer I think takes the cake as one of my worst. My anxiety monster has taken over most of my days, and with a looming second surgery around the corner, I found myself more often than not, staying home. Hiding in my room. I look back and think….what did I really do this summer? (And please don’t discount my love for celebrating all the weddings and marriages and engagements of my best friends, because that really was unforgettable) But what did I do for me?