My New Monster

Every time I begin to write this post, I close the laptop, and with a churning stomach I promise to tackle it later. I find therapy and comfort in writing and articulating my emotions yet for some reason this post, this particular post, I haven’t been able to bring myself to. I don’t know how to articulate what this new monster is, because I have yet to understand it. I have yet to get a hold on it and fully grasp it. Although my ulcerative colitis slipped through my hands, I always felt I had an understanding of what was going on. But this new little pest does not live in my gut. It lives in my head and my hands can’t reach it.

But I’m going to try and lay out a road map of what’s going on. Because, like IBD, I know others struggle with this monster too. I’m going to try and put it into words for my own comfort because every post I write brings some sort of relief in the form of connectivity between myself and readers. And if anyone has some sort of relatable tale, I welcome it with open arms. I warn you though, I have no guidelines for this post and I’m letting my fingers lead the way. I don’t know where it’s going to go so I can’t promise my best work, but I can promise you honesty and hopefully some sort of positivity in a dark cloudy mind.

Anxiety. My new monster.

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Discrimination: Part 2

On my way home from Nashville I still felt a little defeated about the ostomy. A quick (but actually rather long) stop at a gas station proved why having that purse with ostomy supplies was 100% necessary as my sister and I changed my appliance in a bathroom stall (all while muttering “wtf has my life come to?”) Due to high humidity and an excessive amount of sweat, the Eakin rings were warped and the appliance was having a hard time adhering to my skin. But that’s besides the point…

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Nissan Stadium Bag Policy: Part 1

Before I begin this post I want to make it clear that I can recognize and appreciate the sensitive nature of the word discrimination and in no way do I equate my circumstances with anyone dealing with this on a day to day. I acknowledge my privilege of being an able bodied, white, straight, middle class female who is not part of any visible minority. I can also understand the timing of this post in light of recent world events and again, do not equate my situation to the severity of a larger discriminated population. But I think it’s important to talk about this sort of incident and reflect on it, learn from it, and start a greater dialogue. So please, bare with me, with an open mind, and stay tuned for Part 2 of this post.

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