Fresh Start

I talk a lot about how IBD put my life on hold (see: The Waiting Game) and how it ripped me off of the last 2 years. And it’s partially been my fault for not embracing opportunity more, but rather saying, “When I’m not sick anymore,” or “After my next surgery.” But partially there is truth to that. For a while I was mad at myself for using IBD as an excuse and felt guilty for not being proactive and more ambitious regardless of my circumstances. But then there came a point where I allowed myself to just wait. To accept that taking care of myself was my number one, and ONLY priority, and it was okay to just take the time.

To be more specific, given multiple leave of absences from work, (some unplanned, some scheduled), I felt like I couldn’t really move forward in my career. Where else was I going to find a workplace that was so accommodating or would allow me to keep a full time position, around all these absences? And I also felt like I couldn’t move out of my parents’ house, given these long periods of unemployment where I needed that support from them until I recovered. I also felt like I couldn’t date because it was never the right time, and what if I just sucked someone else into the drama of my medical escapade? So I waited. And I lived the mundane, routine, familiar and comfortable state of my life.

Here’s the thing about a set back: The best part is the comeback! So I’m here to tell you about my new beginning. It’s time for me to move on from just being sick, or recovering. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what UC did to me, and put me through, but dang I’m ready to forget about it. I’m ready to embrace what ELSE life has to offer. SO here is my fresh start and what I have planned:

Coming off of my final medical leave, I am not going back to my previous life. First of all, I packed up and spontaneously signed a lease to a cute little apartment in Hamilton. All I knew is that I needed to move on from Newmarket. I had no job, no large savings account: Just a leap of faith that somehow it would all work out.

My plan was to just hopefully interview with a Y in the area and hopefully it would be a simple transfer. Well the process was taking a bit longer than I expected and I started getting nervous. I interviewed for one position and they came back and asked me to interview for a supervisor position. I also knew I would be offered a general ECE position from another region. So without actually having signed any papers, trusting that I would at least have something, I handed in my official resignation to Mazo.

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Then came moving day. Almost 3 months of being on a leave came down to this one-day where I packed up and moved my life. And then I got the call, offering me the supervisor position, and my start date would be the day I had planned on returning from my leave. Ask me how I somehow managed to land a better position, scheduled for the perfect start date, offered on move—in day…and I couldn’t tell you. Luck? Fate? Skill? NO CLUE.

I’m not necessarily a religious person or believe in the “everything happens for a reason” kind of gal. But I do believe in some sort of greater force from the universe. I know this because I’ve felt it kick my ass for the last 2 and a half years. And I made this change with just the sheer belief that the universe owed me one, and it was going to throw me a bone. Boy did it come through. Big ups to the U!

I usually like to plan things out. Have an idea in mind of how things were going to go. But I’m also impatient and when I get something in my mind, I need it to happen now. So I just put every bit of trust in this process and hoped that would work. Somehow things would align and my new beginning would start off just fine.

So I moved all my stuff but then returned to Newmarket for a few more things. First was the burial of my Grandma. Since she passed in the winter we waited until Spring to have a small gathering to lay her ashes to rest and then had lunch on her at the Old Mill. Next was a doctor’s appointment with my GI. I like to touch base with her after each surgery. After a really positive conversation she wrote me a note giving the okay to return to work, and basically said, “call as needed but congratulations, you’re good to go!” Grandma made the grandchildren all quilts and it was a rule that we would get them once we moved out and had our own place. So when I returned to Hamilton on May 3rd, doctor’s note in hand, I was finally able to get my quilt and put it on my bed, coincidently the day after we said goodbye to her.


And then, the day after spending my first night in the building, I had Bell come hook up my TV/ Internet. In came the nicest (and cutest) technician who not only installed everything I needed, but then offered to stay and help build my IKEA furniture. Wouldn’t you love it if I told you he asked me for my number, we fell in love and soon he was going to be my husband? (I WISH) That’s not quite how it happened but I did have a moment of, “this is it, the universe is really making up for lost time.” Unfortunately I never spoke to him again but it did reassure me that I’m ready to get back into the dating scene. Meet new people. Not talk about IBD or what I’m went through. And that people will come and go from your life in the blink of an eye, so anything can happen.

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I write to you from my new little home, on my second last day of my medical leave. What I have learned from this process is to basically check out your expectations of what life is supposed to look like, or how it’s supposed to go. Because it won’t. Just accept what the universe throws at you one day at a time, and trust the grand scheme of things that someday things will work out. Had I never gotten sick would I have ever made the move to this new city and new job I love? Who knows? But I do know that I have this great appreciation for this journey and I don’t feel stuck in that dark place anymore. I don’t just see the light at the end of the tunnel but I’m standing in sunshine.